Since Thursday, everything has felt heavier. The sirens, the uncertainty, the what-ifs. And if you’re a parent, that weight is doubled — because you’re not only trying to hold yourself together, but also helping your children feel safe in a world that suddenly doesn’t.
Some parents are doing okay, keeping busy and holding on to their routines. Others are frozen, overwhelmed, or running on empty. So what makes the difference?
Let’s begin by being very clear: This has nothing to do with being a “strong parent” or never feeling fear. Parents who stay calm aren’t superhuman; they’ve simply found ways to stay engaged, even when things are uncertain. And that makes all the difference for them… and for their kids.
Let’s Start with This: Panic Is a Normal Response
When danger feels close, your nervous system kicks in. That’s not weakness — it’s biology. Often, people who feel panicky, might feel:
- Foggy
- Irritable
- Shaky
- Overwhelmed
You’re not broken — you’re reacting to a real situation. But staying in that state makes it harder to support your child, because children take their emotional cues from you. When you settle, it helps them settle too.
Why Staying Busy Helps — And It Helps Kids Too
Panic thrives in stillness, silence, and helplessness. But when we take small actions, e.g., singing a song with your child, like making lunch, playing a game, or organizing a drawer, it grounds us. It sends a message to your brain:
“I may not control the big picture, but I can handle this moment.”
And when your kids see you doing small, steady things, it gives them a sense of security too.
So What Can You Do?
The HAND or 5-4-3-2-1 technique can be done as a game
When you concentrate on real things, it takes away the focus on what you are panicking about to things that are tactile. What you should do is count:
- 5 things you see
- 4 things you can feel (e.g., cold wind from the air conditioner, the smoothness of the
- t-shirt on your back… NOT feeling of panic, not being able to breathe. We are taking the focus AWAY from those)
- 3 things you hear
- 2 things you smell
- 1 thing you taste
BOX Breathing
When people panic, they tend to hyperventilate. Even one grounding breath can shift the energy in the room. Your calm helps their calm.
- Breathe in for four counts
- Hold for four counts
- Breathe out for four counts
- Hold for four counts
Move Your Body
Fear brings energy. Movement helps release it. Movement isn’t just for distraction. It’s how our bodies process stress — yours and theirs.
- Put on music and dance in the safe room/kitchen, or whenever panic kicks in.
- Take a short walk (even inside)
- Stretch together – if you have access to YouTube, look up something easy
- Let them jump on the bed, if the bed can take it.
Create a Calm Plan For Everyone
Make a short list of 3 things that help you feel more regulated. Then help your children make their own. Some examples could be:
- Make tea or hot chocolate
- Message someone you trust: “Rough day. Just saying hi.”
- Cuddle with a blanket or stuffed animal
- Draw or color
- Sit together and listen to music
Having a “calm plan” normalizes big feelings and offers tools, not shame.
Limit the Stream of Stress For the Whole Family
Yes, we want to stay informed. But constant updates = constant anxiety. Protecting your emotional bandwidth isn’t selfish. It’s how you stay available to your child.
- Choose two set times a day to check the news.
- Keep adult conversations private.
- Mute WhatsApp groups if needed
- Keep updated via the Home Front App. This saves lives!
Model Emotional Strength
Your child doesn’t need you to pretend you’re fine. They need to see how you handle challenging moments.
Try saying things like:
“I feel nervous too, but I know what helps me feel better.”
“I’m taking a break so I can be calm again.”
“Let’s sit together and breathe for a minute.”
You’re showing them that strong people can feel afraid, too, and know what to do with those feelings.
Final Thoughts for the Parents in the Middle of It All
You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be perfectly calm. You just need to keep showing up, moment by moment, with small actions that say: “We are here. We are together. We can handle this.”
That warm tea, that monkeying around, that steady voice, that deep breath before responding, those aren’t little things. They are the anchor points your children will remember. You’re doing more than enough.
