I moved to Israel on a Masa program. Starting off my journey here in the city of Ramle teaching english. Shortly after I moved to Tel Aviv. I spent months teaching English, learning how to navigate a new city, new language, new version of myself and I officially made Aliyah at 23.
Now I live here at 26 with an Israeli bank account I still can barely understand, friends who switch between Hebrew and English mid-sentence, and a kind of quiet understanding that life here can turn upside down in a second.
Right now, everything feels uncertain.
Maybe that’s an understatement.. But there’s a heaviness in the air that’s hard to explain to people who don’t live here. It’s the kind of tension where you carry your phone everywhere and check your alerts constantly but also have to remind yourself to eat lunch.
It’s hard to know what to say or do when everything feels fragile. And the truth is, there’s no perfect way to cope. Everyone’s doing the best they can. For me, that looks different on different days.
Some days, I need to shut it all out
Even as someone who works in social media I need to unplug. I mute the news, turn off notifications, and put on a podcast about literally anything else. I’m not ignoring what’s happening, I just know my body can only take so much. Survival mode doesn’t always look dramatic, sometimes its just taking a break.
Other days, I need structure. I wake up with friends, making my morning matcha and put on a pilates video on Youtube. Its safe to say I’m guilty of getting a little stir crazy, but the structure helps beyond belief.
Sometimes I go on autopilot.
I answer texts late. I scroll. I light candles on Friday night even when everything else feels off. I find myself clinging to the small stuff because they’re the only things I can actually control
And listen, sometimes coping looks like texting someone you probably shouldn’t. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not going to lie about it either, needless to say I’ve received some crazy texts during this time as well. There’s something about craving familiarity when the world feels unstable. One thing is for sure, there’s no judgment here… not in war.
I’ve also found that helping helps. Volunteering, checking in on other Olim, showing up for someone else. It takes me out of my own head.
One of the hardest parts about this time is the guilt.
Guilt for not doing more. Guilt for turning your phone off. But I keep reminding myself: everyone has to to what’s best for them during this time. You can love this country deeply and still feel totally lost in it sometimes.
This isn’t a list of self-care tips or a guide to thriving in a crisis. It’s just me saying, if you’re here, if you’re tired, if you feel weird or numb or angry or disconnected, you’re not alone. Coping looks so different everyday.
I don’t have it all figured out and I’m very quickly realizing that none of us do, we’re all just doing our best. Remember our bodies are going through a lot, mentally and physically. Drink water. Text your friends. Don’t force yourself to read every update. Most importantly, do one thing today that makes you feel like yourself.
